Raise your hand if you’ve ever changed your thoughts, value, interests or opinions out of fear of what someone might say… because SAME. You want to know what I have learned so far in life? This approach isn’t worth it.
It’s time to learn how to let go of the need for validation, and to start living your life for you. Here’s how👇
1. Check In With Yourself
You need to get honest with yourself. Your desire to have the approval of others is rooted in your emotions and beliefs.
So ask yourself, “Where am I holding onto doubt?” “What am a consistently presenting, altering, or portraying in hopes that others will approve?”
Tune into your self-talk. What negative dialogue are you running through your mind? What behaviour are you adjusting (or avoiding all together) simply in order to have someone else to say you’re ok, that you made the right choice, or that you did the right thing?
Only once you become aware of your triggers can you begin to work towards setting yourself free.
2. Check Your Beliefs
So many of us allow ourselves to be persuaded by those around us because we don’t believe in our own voice.
We allow the people around us to influence our decisions so heavily that we forget what is important to us in the first place.
There is nothing wrong with collaborating with people, sharing ideas, and with gaining new perspectives… but the problem lies in allowing those people to influence our beliefs, our decisions, and our behaviours when it doesn’t align with how we desire to BE at our core.
Remember that you are good, your opinions are valid, and you NEED to stand firm in what you believe
If you’re struggling with this, take a moment. Step back and focus on this. Ask yourself “what truly makes me happy? What do I want for myself?”, and Aa you begin to accept this as your reality, things will start to shift.
3. Dig Into Your Desire
It’s important to focus on why you want validation so badly. Understanding the motive here is an important step in overcoming it.
Journal it out if you need to!
“Why am I so worried?”
“What am I afraid of?”
“What fears do I have that make me want to behave this way?”
We all have changed our behaviours, actions, or words to appease other people at some point or another. You aren’t alone in this, but trust me when I say you certainly don’t want to stay here.
Practice makes perfect right? Things won’t change in an instant, so don’t expect them to.
Be nice to yourself.
The safety and security that you desire in being able to show up as you truly are is a process. Remember that. You are here to grow and cultivate it.
Learning to trust your gut, and step firmly into your beliefs is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
Learning to trust your gut is the best thing you can do for yourself. It can help you understand your path, and feel confident in the direction and decisions you make
The more you practice, the more you know that what you WANT is right FOR YOU, and the less you will find yourself focusing on what those around you will think.
We only get steered wrong when we direct our attention beyond ourselves.
Plain and simple, the need for approval kills freedom.
What doesn’t matter, is what everyone else around you is thinking.